If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

Not to be morose or anything – well, maybe I want to be morose, but that’s another blog entry – but I’ve been having some oddly dark thoughts lately.

It all started with the bat – see my August 2004 entry. I started thinking about him (her? how do you tell?) a week or so ago. You see, I’m in the habit of blessing dead animals when I come upon them; an idea my mother gave me. And at times, it seems almost as if animals choose to die along a path I will take just to be blessed – there are so many. There have been quite a few road kills on the freeway lately. A raccoon here. A prairie dog there. Deer everywhere. In fact, I saw a baby deer just the other night. It broke my heart. The poor little thing was just lying there on a freeway on-ramp. It still had its spots.

Anyway, all this dead animal activity got me to thinking about the bat. (Can I now say “I see dead animals”? Bad joke. I know.) Why did he choose my vehicle to hide under? Could I have done more to help him out? Could I have helped him die a more dignified death than inside a box in an electrical closet? Cosmically speaking, did I really screw the pooch with this test of my compassion?

And then, there were the bombings in London. Well, since there were 700+ people hurt in that tragic event, it occurred to me that it was in the realm of possibility that I’ve shared an alcoholic beverage and conversation with someone affected by the bombings. I met a lot of people when I spent nine weeks in England 20+ years ago and I still think of many of them. It could happen. Of course, I’ll never know. But it did make me sad.

Why do I think like that sometimes? Is it because it’s been stormy, rainy and dark the last few days? Thunder rolling by like a Mack truck in the sky. Lightning flashing like celestial paparazzi crowded around the newest starlet.

Is it because I’m deeply frustrated with the lack of progress my knee is making? (Chronic pain has been known to cause depression.) It hurts all the time and I’ve gained between 15 and 20 pounds due to the inactivity it forces upon me.

Or maybe, it is just another side effect of having a random mind. Who knows – I could bee thinking of sugar and spice and everything nice next week!

What do you think?

The summer is officially here. It’s hot and muggy. The fireflies are dancing in the evenings among the vines that cover the trees outside my apartment window. And I’ve broken out the sleeveless shirts in my wardrobe.

For me, every summer is different – and that’s not just because I’ve moved about the country a lot. Beyond the weather – hot as Hades in Phoenix, muggy in Florida and Maryland, pleasantly breezy in Northern California – every summer has its theme.

The summer I turned 17 (my birthday is in August) was an awakening that guys found me attractive. Silly guys – don’t they know a geeky frump when they see one? Oh, well, no accounting for taste.

The following summer, I spent in England as an exchange student. That summer was emotional – just before I left for the airport I discovered my grandmother had died. So, for nine weeks I mourned among strangers while trying to enjoy my overseas experience.

This summer is full of promise. I’m frantically trying to balance two very exciting projects. I’m going to Spain and Romania in September and launching The Genre Traveler when I get back.

This fall’s trip will be the third time I’ve left the U.S. The first, I was only 2-1/2 years old. I didn’t need to worry or plan anything. In fact, I don’t even remember the trip. All my memories begin in Kenya – the country my family went to live in for 2-1/2 years.

The second was my AFS exchange student trip. I was 17 years old and spent 9 weeks traveling about England. I stayed with four “families” – a traditional family with two kids, a single woman, an older couple and a single mother – and two work camps – ATD Fourth World in Frimley and the Derbyshire International Youth Work Camp in Derbyshire. I planned a little, but AFS and my parents took care of most of the worries.

Now that I’m pushing 40, I’m going to Spain for a little more than a week to visit family I’ve never met and participating in a writer’s cultural exchange program for 10 days in Romania. All the planning is up to me. And with 9/11 security making air travel more challenging, planning is very important. I’ve become a big fan of onebag.com.

So this year, instead of worrying about how I look in a swimsuit or searching for the best ice cream sundae, I’m making lists and checking them thrice. I’m traveling light this time so I can get the most out of my short time abroad. Yes, summer is here and full of promise. So, where’d I put that list again?